|
Red Cross Provides Support for Military Spouses
Deborah MacSwain, Special to RedCross.org
Tuesday, November 25, 2003 — In addition to the U.S. military members now serving in the Persian Gulf region, thousands of United States Reserve and National Guard troops have been and continue to be activated. “Citizen soldiers,” as they are sometimes called, hail from every corner of the country, from small towns to major cities. They are teachers, landscapers, lawyers, storekeepers, or elected officials. Most are from communities that are not near military installations, and the traditional support services available to regular military forces are therefore not as readily accessible to members of the Reserves or National Guard.
Deployed servicemembers from Port Charlotte serving in Iraq are sent the local newspaper, The Charlotte Sun< every week. |
Port Charlotte, Florida, is such a community that is far from a military base but has many “citizen soldiers.” Stepping in to provide support services for them, however, is the Charlotte County Chapter of the American Red Cross. Though it’s the smallest chapter in the state, it has one of the most successful Red Cross Military Family Support Groups in the nation.
When the 320th Military Police Army Reserve Unit was called up, Dee Ann Ingalls, wife of a deceased Vietnam Army National Guard veteran, knew it would be difficult for the local spouses and parents in Port Charlotte. She understood that families with loved ones deployed get the most help from others experiencing the same problems of separation and constant worry. She knew that without a place to meet and share information, many spouses would feel alone.
In her capacity as the Red Cross Community Development Director, she
wanted to establish a place for spouses, parents and friends of men and women deployed to air their concerns and receive comfort and support -- a place for respite.
“There was no place for these young wives to meet and talk. They needed to share their feelings and fears. Most did not know each other. We gave them a place.” DeeAnn Ingalls and other Red Cross volunteers gave them much more.
They began holding meetings on Wednesday evenings. Soon participation grew from two to more than 30 wives and parents of U. S. service men and women. Most support group attendees are spouses and parents of men and women serving in the 320th Military Police unit deployed to Iraq. Others are family members of regular Army, Air Force and Navy personnel.
Military wives find the Red Cross support group to be an invaluable service. |
A few have had their military members return home, but they continue to attend the meetings because they have bonded with the other families. Kathy Martin and her daughter-in-law still come to the meetings even though her son has returned from Iraq. “The group has evolved. There are more coming to the meetings. It is difficult to continue when your loved one has returned, knowing others are still away – but we want to continue to support those still left behind.”
One of the most difficult times was at the beginning of the war when the television coverage was constant. The impact of seeing injured and killed personnel, watching the on-going battles and movement of troops can be overwhelming.
“The family support group means everything (to me). All the nights being glued to the TV, not wanting to watch, but yet wondering if the truck you were seeing had your husband on it is difficult and emotional,” said Lisa Rivero, wife of Staff Sgt. Adam Rivero, 320th MPs. “The Red Cross gives us a safe place to share our feelings. No matter how down and out you feel we all feel better after coming to the Red Cross meetings.”
Rosemary Blake, has a daughter and son-in law, Lt.’s Courtney and Iven Sugai, serving in Iraq with the 101st Airborne. New to the community and with no other local family support, Blake has relied on the Red Cross get-togethers. “The Support Groups have been comforting. I have made a lot of friends. Everyone is so understanding,” she said.
Having little or no contact with your loved one is one of the most difficult and worrying aspects of being separated in time of conflict. With the help of local watch company, Ingalls found a unique way for the families to maintain a feeling of togetherness.
The Hutchinson Watch Company donated two watches to residents with a deployed spouse. They synchronized the watches so the alarms would go off at the same time in Florida and Iraq. The “set” watches were mailed overseas to the deployed spouse so families would be able to share “one moment in time”. When one family gets together daily at the appointed time, they all say, “We love you too daddy!” when the alarm sounds.
Elizabeth Hidalgo created this drawing for her father who is serving in Iraq. |
The separation can be particularly difficult for children. “My five-year-old is convinced her father is not coming home and she physically wanted to go to Iraq and bring him back,” said Lisa Hildago. “The meetings the Red Cross has had for us and the children have helped her understand. It is awesome.”
Many in the support group talk about how their deployed spouses, sons and daughters have formed strong bonds with others who served alongside them overseas. When they return home, they worry about their “buddies.” The Charlotte County Red Cross Family Support Group is no different. They are close knit group who rely on each other and Red Cross volunteers like Dee Ann Ingalls.
|
